Learning to Love by Listening

The longer I that I'm a wife and mama the more I realize that I'm far too skilled at talking. So often I should be listening instead. Rehearsing this verse daily is helping:

"The mind of the intelligent seeks knowledge,
But the mouth of fools feeds on folly." ~Proverbs 15:14 (NASB)

Here's what I've written on the 3X5 index card I return to each day:

Seek to love.

   Seek to understand.

      Listen, rather than talking.

         Listen, rather than interrupting.

            Listen, rather than inserting your opinion.

                 Listen, rather than trying to persuade.

                    Listen, seeking knowledge.

                       Listen...praying.

                          Listen...trusting God with the circumstance.

Favorite Quotes: I'm No Hot-House Plant

As was moving books around today, I opened an old favorite to words I had highlighted about 15 years ago which really caught my attention again: 

"True holiness does not make a Christian evade difficulties, but face and overcome them. Christ would have His people show that His grace is not a mere hot-house plant, which can only thrive under shelter, but a strong hardy thing which can flourish in every relation of life. It is doing our duty in that state to which God has called us, like salt in the midst of corruption and light in the midst of darkness, which is the primary element of sanctification."

J.C. Ryle, Holiness

If I want my walk as a follower of Christ to cause Jesus to shine in the eyes of others, I must demonstrate strength and perseverence, while depending on and trusting in His daily gift of ever-sufficient grace. Christians don't give up and they don't give in. Christians can't give out and they can't give in. They are overcomers! I'm to be an overcomer! I'm to stare danger or discouragement in the face and keep right on walkin'.

I've found during the past decade and a half that scripture rehearsal is critical to my ability to just keep plowing on in the face of whatever daunting difficulties might come my way. I used to call it scripture memorization, but the truth is I'm not very good at memorizing. However, I've found that the process of reading a verse or passage that is written out on a 3x5 card many times and intentionally processing the intent of the words has the necessary effect of strengthening me. I'm also more selfless and ready to serve when I meditate on God's word every day. For me, scripture rehearsal (that might lead to memorizing the passage) is as crucial as eating. I've learned that I need the Bread of Life at least as much as I need food! After all, I'm to be an overcomer!

Life is Too Short for a Spat with My Spouse

The story behind these beautiful photos is here: Life is so short!

Yesterday my husband and I had a fight.

Quite a fight.

We created our own wedded unbliss.

We did eventually reach reconciliation. We forgave. We put the hard words and the unkind insinuations behind us. But the hours it took us to arrive at resolution were gone. Forever.

The source of the quarrel? My pride...his pride...each of us trying to build our own kingdom.

I would have been touched by the story linked above about a beautiful marriage cut short at any reading. But following my folly yesterday, it cut me to the quick. I must not waste my marriage. Every moment the Lord allows me as a wife is precious. Priceless.

My husband and I have had 30 amazing years, and for that blessing I thank God. But good health tomorrow is an unknown.

We don't know when death will part us.

So the next time my pride feels the need to take a stand...the next time I'm determined to prove my rightness, I'm going to choose to lay down arms. I'm going to give in instead of pushing back. I'm going wave the white flag of surrender. Because when we fight, I don't win...even if I win.

I refuse to waste my marriage in a turf war. Life is too short.

(My husband gave his permission to post this.)

What We All Long For...

Our family begins each morning by gathering to read a Psalm. We then read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with the date of the month. Thus today we read Proverbs 19 since it is December 19th.

When we get to this particular chapter each month, a little phrase inevitably pricks me:

"What is desirable in a man is his kindness" 

(Proverbs 19:22 NASB)

 

Here's what author John Kitchen has to say in his outstanding commentary Proverbs:

"That which people long to find true in those they associate with is 'kindness.' This translates the rich Hebrew word hesed. The term is descriptive of covenant love and faithfulness. It is a mercy, kindness, love and compassion that flows from an unalterable commitment made to another. It is not hard to see why this is a quality desirable in those with whom one builds relationships. Ultimately, this is God's kind of love for those who trust in Him." (pg. 428)

The reason the words, "What is desirable in a man is his kindness," act as a thorn each month is that I find it all too easy to expect "mercy, love and compassion" from others while being slow to dole out those same expressions of graciousness myself. The worst part is that my own home is where I'm least likely to demonstrate the wonder of the "hesed", dying-to-self love that this proverb promotes. Instead, I'm much more likely to bark out commands to my children as though I am a captain desperately trying to keep my ship afloat.

So as we quickly approach Christmas, I want to remember the babe in the manger. I want to remember the baby who grew into the man who lived love. I want to remember His mercy in my life. His love for this wretched sinner. His compassion when my heart aches or I stumble and hurt. I want to remember that the baby whose birth we celebrate this season is the long-awaited Messiah whose rich "hesed" love resulted in Him hanging from the cross, uttering the words, "Forgive them, Lord" about the very ones who were crucifying Him. I want to remember...

When I keep my Savior's sacrificial love in front of me it is much easier to move through my days seeing my children as treasures to be cherished. I'm much more likely to be a gentle, tender mom who showers kindness on those closest to her. I want to live like Jesus. I want to love like Christ. I want to be kind to all with whom I come in contact, starting with my own children. After all, what is desirable in me is kindness.

Twice a Day, Every Day

Sunrise as seen from Castine, Maine, on the Atlantic coast, 21 August 2013

Thoughts from my time in the Bible this morning:

"They who dwell in the ends of the earth stand in awe of your signs;
 You make the dawn and the sunset shot for joy."
Psalm 65:8

Twice a day, every day, God gives us a sign that He is -- each morning's sunrise followed by evening's sunset. Our days are bookended by a reminder of the wonder that there is a God. Even the farthest reaches of the earth are privy to this message of a mighty God--maker of heaven and earth. Oh may I stand in awe--not just of the signs--but of the Signmaker, the Creator. He is God. He is. Praise Him!

A Mark of Wisdom

"The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way" 

  (Proverbs 14:8a NASB)

Bible commentator John Kitchen writes, "Such a one can look at his conduct (his way) and his motives and accurately identify them for what they are... The proverbs repeatedly hail the one who can objectively evaluate himself and trim his actions accordingly." Proverbs, pgs. 305,306

This ability to sense when I'm headed in the wrong direction with my words or actions is a yearning of my heart as a result of having sinned against others--thus defiling God's glory--more times than I'd care to recount.

This half-a-Proverb can so easily be turned into a prayer: Lord, please grant me the wisdom to understand my way. Take away the blinders of pride and self righteousness that lead me far from You. Help me to do an immediate U-turn of repentance as soon as my eyes are opened by Your grace to the fact that I'm on a path which will result in me hurting others and failing to glorify You."

This short gem also makes a perfect prayer for my children: Lord, I pray that You will weave into each of my children and their spouses the prudence to understand their way. Our culture is daily pounding them with messages that make behaviors like anger, rebellion and unforgiveness not only okay but even expected. Self-focus, the very opposite of Your way, is touted before them as a virtual virtue. O Great God, give my children sin-sensitive souls.

This morning I wrote Proverbs 14:8a on an index card and added it to the stack I try to review daily. I've found this practice which I took up in early March has been a tremendous springboard not just for knowing more scripture but also for energizing my prayer life. Now this new index card will now help me to remember to ask the Lord to mold me into a person who understands her ways.

When I'm at My Worst...

I memorized Jesus' words in Matthew 11:28-30 a couple of months ago:

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Having my this passage impressed on my heart has given me the chance to mediate on it repeatedly. The Lord has provided many precious insights. This week, however, I had a thought that staggered me.

When I'm "weary and heavy-laden", I am at my worst. If you find me worn and feeling pressured, you'll find a woman who is most likely cranky, self-centered, vulnerable to self-pity, whiny, and bordering on hopelessness. I'm just plain disagreeable. It's ugly!

And yet, it is precisely at these moments ~ when I'm wallowing in sin as I struggle with my circumstances ~ that Jesus invites me to come close!  Jesus is emphatic about His desire to usher me into intimacy with Him when I've sunk to my lowest. I tend to try to avoid people when they're exhausted and overwhelmed. After all, a person like that is most likely going to be needy. But, ~ this is what flabbergasted me ~ that's exactly when our Savior beckons...when we're at our weakest and at the same time...well...kinda repugnant. Isn't that amazing? Isn't Jesus' "Come..." sweeter than ever with that realization? Doesn't the tenderness of the invitation leave you ready to lay your head on His chest as the apostle John did?

I recently ran across the wall hanging I'm holding in the photo. I had planned to hang it on our main floor, but so far it hasn't left our bedroom. Seeing the words first thing in the morning and several times each day has served to remind me of Jesus' insistent-yet-overwhelmingly-compassionate, "Come to Me...". Seeking Him is my only real hope when I'm weary and heavy-laden. When I'm at my worst, He still says, "Come...!"

Pride: A Prickly Problem

As our oldest son, John, was working on his business degree, he had to do some research in professional journals. He came across this quote at the bottom of one of the articles. He was staggered by the writer's humility. John read the quote to me, and I quickly requested a copy.

"If any good has come from what has been done, all glory goes to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is to Him that I owe my life both temporal and eternal. Whatever talent, ability or accomplishment that I have enjoyed has been given from His hand. It is by His grace alone that 'I live and move and have my being.' (Acts 17:28)" ~Jeffrey K. Fawcett

I'm so prone to pride. Even blogging fuels this foul monster that lives inside me. However, my heart's desire is to make my way through life exhibiting humility, remembering at all times the True Source of my life and any accomplishments. I am simply His tool. Trying to keep that focus, I have a sticky card with this quote on it hanging in a strategic location in our bathroom so that I reread the words frequently. Perhaps, though, I need to memorize it. Hmmm... The fight goes on.

No More Excuses

Even if I only read one book in the entire Bible, one thing would become clear. Proverbs leaves no doubt that those who belong to God are to have self-control over their feelings, their thoughts, their actions, their words, their eating, their drinking, their use of time and their use of money.

Jesus was the ultimate demonstration of this self-control. I will fail in my efforts to imitate Him and demonstrate self-control unless I am "actively dependent upon God at each instant and in each endeavor," (John Kitchen, Proverbs, pg. 237).

How can I be dependent on Someone I don't know well? I can't be. This moment-by-moment dependence on God demands an intimate knowledge of God. The only way I can hope to achieve this level of intimacy is by becoming a person of the Word. His thoughts must become my thoughts. His ways must become my ways (See Isaiah 55:8,9). This means investing time and energy in reading and rereading and rereading and rereading His word. I must stop making excuses and memorize His word, and this must be life-change memorization, not the kind of cramming that prepares a person for a quiz. This will take hard work. There's just now way around it. This will also require cutting something out of my life, probably spending as much time at my computer.

I've spent my life telling people I wish I had more self-control. It's time to stop wishing. It's time to consistently invest myself in knowing God so well that I can be actively dependent upon Him--moment-by-moment--no matter what life throws at me. It's time to control Self, instead of letting Self control me. It's time to demonstrate enough self-control to hungrily seek God through His word, today and tomorrow and the next day and the next... It's time. No more excuses.

(Many of these thoughts have crystallized after listening to Jim Berg's message: Eagles and Turkeys. Many of the terms are his.)

I Get Stuck Each Time

"Now all the tax collectors and the sinners were coming near Him to listen to Him. Both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, 'This man receives sinners and eats with them.'" (Luke 15:1,2 NASB)

I love these two verses that set the scene for the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin and the prodigal son  in Luke 15. In fact, each time I reach this chapter in my Bible reading, I get stuck on these two verses and find it hard to move on. Here's why:

• I'm blown-away by God's goodness to me. I'm a sinner. Just like the men that the Pharisees and scribes were grumbling about, I'm a sinner. I'm a sinner. I'm a S.I.N.N.E.R! And yet the whole of God's word tells me that Jesus is willing to receive me, just as he was willing to receive the tax collectors and notorious sinners in the verse above. That just takes my breath away; the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has a place of fellowship for me. (See John 14:21, 23)
• As I let it soak in that Jesus is willing to receive me, I then find I want to be like the tax collectors and the sinners mentioned in Luke 15:1. I realize that a desire to be like a tax collector sounds a bit odd. But look at the men's longings. They're elbowing each other for a place near Jesus. They want to listen to Him. I want the desire to come to Jesus and listen to Him to be hallmarks of my life. In fact, I want my yearning to come to Jesus and listen to Jesus to burn a bit more brightly each day in my heart.
• In order for the tax collectors and sinners to want to come and listen to Jesus, there just had to be something irresistible about being near the Son of God--that is if you were humble. The religious establishment represented in Luke 15:2 missed the wonder of Jesus due to pride. They saw themselves as good and "those other guys" as bad. Jesus saw each man's heart.
• Jesus very demeanor, let alone His message of forgiveness of sin, must have been so winsome, so compelling, so loving that those who were used to being repulsed by society laid down their defensiveness to come...and listen. I want to know this Jesus. What a King!

So you can see why I get stuck on these two verses. I see not just "tax collectors and sinners" but me. And...I see a Saviour who saves based on His goodness, not my on effort to clean up my life. So, I want to come near to Jesus and I want to listen to Him. Thankfully, Jesus welcomes sinners to His table, including me.

Nothing Good

Today I was on my way to Romans 8 when these words--underlined at some earlier time in red and blue--caught my eye:

"Nothing good dwells in me." (Romans 7:18 NASB)

I read again.

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me."

Yes, as I review my life--even just the past week--I have plenty of empirical evidence. I know that nothing good dwells in me.

I am a constant danger to those I love most.

I am a constant danger to the cause of Christ.

I am a constant danger to the cause of orphan care.

I am a constant danger to everyone and everything I hold most dear. What an irony...what I long to protect, I have the power to destroy. "...evil is present in me." (Romans 7:21 NASB)

I need God.
I need God to hold me back.
I need God to hold me back from harming His name.
I need God to hold me back from harming those I love.
I need God to hold me back from harming the opportunity to do good while I yet breath...

I need God.
I need God to slay Self.
I need God to slay Self and replace Me with Christ, author of all that is good.
I need God.

Oh, God, help me...

Lord, Lead Me Away

The gardens of Clivden estate, Buckinghamshire, England--2008 

Lord, lead me away from who I've become. Save my children from what I have done.

I have discipled my children in the wrong thing...a love of the world rather than a love of the Maker of the World. I have modeled pride before these precious gifts from You (Psalm 127)...and then pointed an accusing finger when they demonstrate arrogance. I have been irritated in front of them and then gotten mad when they demonstrate anger.

I am a profoundly proud woman who names the name of Christ and yet depends on self, values self, flaunts self, seeks to protect self. My words and my "walk" do not match. I am a hypocrite. Christ's word for the hypocrite? Some of the strongest He ever spoke, "Woe to you, hypocrite...!" (Matthew 23)

O, Jesus, have mercy on me. I am a sinner. I am desperately wicked and my sin is counter to everything in You that is holy. I need a Saviour. I need a Saviour, Jesus. I need You, Jesus.

I have counted myself worthy. I am not worthy. I am wicked. Only You, Jesus, are worthy. Worthy is the blood of the Lamb who was slain! Worthy is the blood of the Lamb who was slain that my sins might be paid for...a debt I could never repay. Jesus, You are holy. You are mighty. You are meek. You are humble. You are gentle. You are God. You are the only path to redemption.

Please forgive me, Great God. I have stained Your reputation in front of my own children. I have poured sin on Your beauty in front of their very eyes. I am a very broken vessel that has claimed to be the finest of silver. Such sin! Such arrogance. Please forgive me, Lord God Almighty!

You are Truth. You are Good. Only You are Good. I am vile and in love with myself. Please, Lord, slay self in me. Please put self to death and raise up Christ the King in the void. Please slay the Me in me and bring others, especially my own precious children, to Life through Your Son's resurrection from the dead.

You are my God.
You are my King.
You are my Master.

Please, Jesus, lead me away from what I've become. Please, Jesus, unself me and rip from me the cords of the sins I've embraced. Lead me, Jesus, that I might be be transformed into Your image...that I might be a conduit of Your grace in my children's lives. Please, Jesus, lead me...

Life's Simple Pleasures

There are few things quite so satisfying in their simplicity as a good yawn. Although new at life, month-old Brielle has already discovered this.

How easy it is to miss the little blessings in life! Even a deep, satisfying yawn is reason to remember the Giver of All Good Gifts (James 1:17) and thank Him. Psalm 145:9 says, "His mercies are over all His works." With grateful hearts, let's be on the alert for the Lord's less obvious--but remarkably tender--touches of love on our lives. I suspect the exercise will encourage us and honor Him!

Guilty as Charged!

I mentioned in a recent post on our family blog untohimwelive that I've stumbled upon a book called Voices from the Past that is singing to my heart as I struggle with strong pain while awaiting probable surgery at the Mayo Clinic next week.

Sometimes the words I read in this collection of short reflections by various Puritan authors are purely comforting. Sometimes they are uncomfortably convicting. However, even the convicting passages are like a salve to my soul because the challenge they bring helps realign my thinking to be biblical. Only when we think God's thoughts will we find real peace, strength and comfort. And right now, I need a whole lot of peace, strength and comfort! So bring on the conviction!

Today's passage was one that brought the needed OUCH!

"In our sufferings, we need to be more concerned about our duty than our deliverance. We should seriously consider what it is that God desires in our present dispensation. There is no condition or trial in the world but we have the opportunity to exercise some special grace or duty. To desire deliverance alone is self-love and quite natural to man. In affliction man seeks to be delivered and released from his burden. Men make more haste to get their afflictions removed than to be sanctified in them...Let us search and try our ways, Let us consider that the present condition is best for us, and learn in whatever state we are, to be content (Phil. 4:11). Let us rejoice in tribulation (Rom. 5:3) Let us lift up Jesus Christ and make Him glorious by our afflictions. Paul studied more how to adorn the cross than how to avoid it. If he must suffer for Christ, O that Christ might not suffer by him! May Christ be exalted, and let us entrust our souls to a faithful Creator (1 Peter 4:19)." Thomas Chase, Select Works, A Treatise of Afflictions, pp. 65-67

I have fallen into the trap of wanting nothing more than to be set free from my pain. Author Thomas Chase calls that "self-love." Ouch! And yet when I look back over my thirty plus years of following Christ, one truth stands out. God is good and what He does is good, even when it feels hard. In some way that I cannot see yet, this health problem is for my good. In the midst of the daily misery, I need to look not just for rescue, but I also must be on the alert for my Kingdom work. Right now. Today. In the middle of pain strong enough that I find myself holding my breath to fight it. I don't need to wait until I get to the other side of the pain to serve God and glorify Him. I can do that now. And, whatever today's Kingdom assignment is for me, I know that my beloved King will enable me. He is good and what He does is good, even when His plan includes affliction!

Clinging to my King
Denise

Fitting Adjectives

I don't know about you, but I benefit from being reminded of ways in which I will never be like God. That's just what a reading of Psalm 74 did for me this week. As far as I can remember, no one has ever called me resplendent. And, actually, that's okay. You see, I have a God who is resplendent. He's also majestic and glorious, additional adjectives which I don't anticipate being used to describe me. I'm so grateful for the numberless ways in which God is...well...God. I am weak and forgetful and selfish and... He, on the other hand, is perfect. And, I need His perfect strength and purity and beauty and wisdom and... I could go on and on and on. Isn't our God marvelous? Ahh...another adjective I'll leave to the Creator of the Universe.

(I just realized that I used this same photo a few posts ago--a perfect example of my many imperfections :)! Ahh...praise be for a perfect God!)

Downhearted?

Strutting on the grounds of Warwick Castle, England -- May 2008

Make glad the soul of Your servant,

For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

Psalm 86:4 NASB

Each summer our pastor, Dave Sowers, preaches from the book of Psalms. He calls the series "The Summer Psalms." We have been richly blessed as he takes us deeper into individual Psalms Sunday after Sunday. However, not only do we grow to understand specific Psalms at a more profound level, but we also learn new ways to pray. Pastor Dave has instructed us repeatedly that if we see one of the Psalmists cry out to God in a particular way then we can use that as a model for our praying.

A couple of weeks ago, the verse above caught my eye. When I'm feeling dragged down, I can lift my heart to the Lord and make the Psalmist's cry my plea: "O Lord, please make my soul glad. To You I lift up my soul."

I have already prayed this way on a couple of harder days when I have felt pulled down by my circumstances. Within the next hour or two it slowly dawns on me that my spirit has been buoyed. I feel hopeful again. Not so overwhelmed. Despite no change in what's happening around me, I find I'm able to relish the day, instead of merely trudging through it.

Fighting Fear

  

Lately I've wavered between joy-producing faith and energy-zapping fear. I'm realizing as I swing between extremes that fear is faith's enemy.

I pulled out a book that's helped me tackle fear in the past. Immediately, I was reminded of some important truths:

"You think about your future and think, 'I couldn't handle that. I'm not strong enough.' But you aren't in that situation yet, so you needn't be afraid because you don't have strength for it. God's not going to give you the strength for a situation until you are in that situation. Instead of fearing the future, trust God for the strength for today. Remember you are not alone. You have incredible resources. The Spirit of power dwells in you.

"The Christian is a person of great strength. The Christian has the power to endure hardship, to stand strong when life is difficult, and to hang on in the midst of great pain.

"Why can Christians stand strong? It is because in and of themselves they are naturally strong people? No! Believers can stand strong because the Spirit within them is so powerful." Wayne Mack, The Fear Factor, pg. 17

Author Mack goes on to urge: "Don't be so eager to stay safe. Make pleasing and glorifying God your top priority regardless of what may come your way." pg. 21

A Wake Up Call

I'm reading a powerful and convicting book called How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong by Leslie Vernick. During a bout of insomnia last night, I read this section which struck deep:

"How we act and live stems from what is in our heart. A change of heart requires much more than simply changing sinful behaviors into more Christlike behaviors. A change of heart requires us to allow God to rearrange the desires of our heart. The things that motivate us in our natural self most should no longer control us; instead, the love of Christ should control us, the glory of God should control us, and the mind of Christ should control us.

     "How do we know if we have idols of our heart? Take them away and watch your reaction. What happens when you don't have power and control? When you don't have peace and serenity? When you don't have respect or security? When you don't have a fat bank account? When you are not recognized for your accomplishments? When you are ignored or humiliated? What happens when you don't get your way? We often don't know our heart is so attached to our idols until they're threatened. Then we fight like mad to keep them!...

     "God is a jealous God. He is jealous of our love. When we love things more than him, he hates it. Ephesians 5 says that when we love something, we will nourish and care for it. When we love our idols, we embrace them, devote ourselves to them, and make it our business to please them, whether they be our love of approval, love of money, love of success, love of being right, love of ourselves, love of pleasure, or love of people. We also live in bondage to our fears, such as the fear of conflict, fear of failure, fear of disapproval, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, fear of intimacy. Our fears are a helpful way to look at the other side of what we love. For example: We love success; we fear failure. We love peace; we fear conflict. We love to please people and make them happy; we fear disapproval or rejection...

     "What rules your heart? What we love most will rule us. Or to put it another way, what we fear losing will control us. God says He is a jealous God and he wants to be first in our heart. Many of us repent of wrong behaviors, even wrong thoughts, but we don't understand that we can't grow to be more like Christ unless our heart loves [Him] more that we love ourselves--or our own desires." (pgs. 94-95, 97)

For a long time, I have struggled with being a person who gets irritated with her children all too easily. I've read books on anger and memorized many Bible verses addressing anger in my longing to change this behavior that I know is sinful. I've made some progress, but much less than I've hoped for. At times my slow change has deeply frunstrated and even confused me. I've tried so hard. The passage above helped me understand that I need to refocus my efforts. I need to stop being so conscious of my responses and become consumed, instead, with loving God. He is worthy of being loved heart, soul and mind, after all.

In the middle of the night, I confessed to God that I don't love Him with all my heart. That was hard to do! I told the Lord that I now recognize that I love myself, being honored by my children, comfort, ease and control of my circumstances more than I love my Him. This was a humbling admission because for years I've convinced myself that I loved God wholeheartedly. But the evidence is irrefutable based on careful contemplation of the passage from Vernick's book.

A discovery like this could leave a person disheartened! However, I feel so hopeful! I know the Lord to be a prayer-answering God. I began to cry out to Him last night to my change my self-centered heart. I told Him emphatically that I want to love Him first and foremost, with heart, soul and mind fervor. I'm excited to see what the Lord will do as He answers my prayer. In the meantime, I will be seeking to know Jesus, since we're told He is the exact representation of His Father. (Hebrews 1:3). I'm thankful for last night's insomnia. The lack of sleep proved to be a vital wake up call!

Molehill Maker

For anyone who doesn't recognize these ugly mounds, they're molehills. Because the weather has been so mild, the ground hasn't frozen solid as it normally does during the winter in the upper mid west. This has allowed the moles to dig and damage and dig and damage. Our yard's a mess.

I wish it was just our yard that was a mess. But I'm afraid I've been too much like a mole myself. I, too, have mastered the practice of "dig and damage and dig and damage." The problem with my skill is that its the souls of my children that are being hurt. I've spent way too much time digging for misbehaviour, calling out their faults, and, in the process, damaging their souls. Instead, I should be on the look out for their efforts to do right, no matter how small, and put my energy into encouraging them. I KNOW Proverbs 16:24: "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the soul."

Multiple times in the past, the Lord has used His still, small voice to redirect me in the use of my tongue. Kind words are so powerful! God declares they have the power to heal. They can be bandaids for bleeding hearts. I've SEEN my kids thrive on praise for a job well done. I've SEEN them positively beam when I build them up.

Why? Why would I return to destructive words that belittle and discourage my beloved children? I can think of two reasons, and both have their roots in my own sin. The first is that I'm allowing the dangerous thought, "I deserve better! How could you...?" to rule my thinking. And when my thinking goes that direction, hurtful words are almost certain to follow.

The second reason is that I've taken my eyes off  my own sin. If I'll focus on my "log", their "splinters" (Luke 6:41) will fade into minor issues that usually require no more than a gentle "course correction". Christ hung on a cross for my sins. There is no room for me to be proud; my sins were enough to require His crucifixion. As a popular song says, "I was the thorns in His crown." If God's love was so lavish that He gave His only begotten son that I might be saved, my love for my children needs to be lavish as well! When they do do wrong, I am to imitate the Lord in the forgiveness He demonstrated to those who caused the suffering and death of His son. If I'm busy lavishing love on and freely forgiving my kiddos, I'll find very little time to criticize and tear them down.

I'm ready to stomp out molehills, both outside my home and within our four walls. I would be so grateful for your prayers. (And when you pray for an adoptive parent, you're truly participating in orphan care.Those who've adopted are so helped, encouraged and blessed by a safety net built of the prayers of friends and family.) Please pray that the Lord will give me a broken and contrite heart as He breaks me of the the sin habit I've slid into of being overly critical. I long to use my words to glorify God by encouraging and building up our amazing 10 children who are still living at home. Down with molehills!

The Right Footprint

Just like a deep footprint in fresh snow, the Lord wants me to mediate on His word until it leaves an indelible mark on who I am. He wants His word to be so deep within me that it impacts how I face challenges. "Impress" as its used in the verse above is one strong verb!

Have I been giving God's word its rightful due? For me, the kind of day-and-night meditation God commands (Joshua 1:8,9; Psalm 1:1-3) requires memorizing. Am I working at this with an effort, energy and enthusiasm worthy of my Lord and King? Am I going heart deep? Soul deep? No.

I'm oh-so grateful that He is a forgiving God of second chances.