A Mark of Wisdom

"The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way" 

  (Proverbs 14:8a NASB)

Bible commentator John Kitchen writes, "Such a one can look at his conduct (his way) and his motives and accurately identify them for what they are... The proverbs repeatedly hail the one who can objectively evaluate himself and trim his actions accordingly." Proverbs, pgs. 305,306

This ability to sense when I'm headed in the wrong direction with my words or actions is a yearning of my heart as a result of having sinned against others--thus defiling God's glory--more times than I'd care to recount.

This half-a-Proverb can so easily be turned into a prayer: Lord, please grant me the wisdom to understand my way. Take away the blinders of pride and self righteousness that lead me far from You. Help me to do an immediate U-turn of repentance as soon as my eyes are opened by Your grace to the fact that I'm on a path which will result in me hurting others and failing to glorify You."

This short gem also makes a perfect prayer for my children: Lord, I pray that You will weave into each of my children and their spouses the prudence to understand their way. Our culture is daily pounding them with messages that make behaviors like anger, rebellion and unforgiveness not only okay but even expected. Self-focus, the very opposite of Your way, is touted before them as a virtual virtue. O Great God, give my children sin-sensitive souls.

This morning I wrote Proverbs 14:8a on an index card and added it to the stack I try to review daily. I've found this practice which I took up in early March has been a tremendous springboard not just for knowing more scripture but also for energizing my prayer life. Now this new index card will now help me to remember to ask the Lord to mold me into a person who understands her ways.

365 People Pictures--Day 13: Baby Grin

Brielle--8 months

Day 12's photo was a contemplative capturing of my granddaughter's features. That picture didn't, however, capture her personality. This photo taken just half an hour later does a better job of that. Brielle has unusually large eyes that grab people's attention both in photos and in person. Recently, I've come to the conclusion that her eyes are captivating because there is happiness behind their blue color. Brielle's mommy, Anna, says that she prayed for a content baby. The Lord most kindly did above and beyond Anna's request. Brielle is a happy baby who blesses with her big grins, cheerful chattering and beaming eyes.

One of the pleasures I find in baby photography is that little ones don't yet have the inhibitions that we seem to inevitably grow into. They'll smile at the shake of a set of keys or a quick game of peek-a-boo. Perhaps youngsters' easily-encouraged delight is one of the traits that led Jesus to insist that we must be like little children to enter His Kingdom. After all, God is worthy of our deepest delight. He is the Giver-of-All-Good-Gifts. The long list of ways in which He meets our needs should keep each of us grinning with joy. When I have my camera in hand, I'm going to keep watching for Brielle's big smiles that I might be reminded to be like a little child in my appreciation of my Heavenly Father.

Nothing Good

Today I was on my way to Romans 8 when these words--underlined at some earlier time in red and blue--caught my eye:

"Nothing good dwells in me." (Romans 7:18 NASB)

I read again.

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me."

Yes, as I review my life--even just the past week--I have plenty of empirical evidence. I know that nothing good dwells in me.

I am a constant danger to those I love most.

I am a constant danger to the cause of Christ.

I am a constant danger to the cause of orphan care.

I am a constant danger to everyone and everything I hold most dear. What an irony...what I long to protect, I have the power to destroy. "...evil is present in me." (Romans 7:21 NASB)

I need God.
I need God to hold me back.
I need God to hold me back from harming His name.
I need God to hold me back from harming those I love.
I need God to hold me back from harming the opportunity to do good while I yet breath...

I need God.
I need God to slay Self.
I need God to slay Self and replace Me with Christ, author of all that is good.
I need God.

Oh, God, help me...

Lord, Lead Me Away

The gardens of Clivden estate, Buckinghamshire, England--2008 

Lord, lead me away from who I've become. Save my children from what I have done.

I have discipled my children in the wrong thing...a love of the world rather than a love of the Maker of the World. I have modeled pride before these precious gifts from You (Psalm 127)...and then pointed an accusing finger when they demonstrate arrogance. I have been irritated in front of them and then gotten mad when they demonstrate anger.

I am a profoundly proud woman who names the name of Christ and yet depends on self, values self, flaunts self, seeks to protect self. My words and my "walk" do not match. I am a hypocrite. Christ's word for the hypocrite? Some of the strongest He ever spoke, "Woe to you, hypocrite...!" (Matthew 23)

O, Jesus, have mercy on me. I am a sinner. I am desperately wicked and my sin is counter to everything in You that is holy. I need a Saviour. I need a Saviour, Jesus. I need You, Jesus.

I have counted myself worthy. I am not worthy. I am wicked. Only You, Jesus, are worthy. Worthy is the blood of the Lamb who was slain! Worthy is the blood of the Lamb who was slain that my sins might be paid for...a debt I could never repay. Jesus, You are holy. You are mighty. You are meek. You are humble. You are gentle. You are God. You are the only path to redemption.

Please forgive me, Great God. I have stained Your reputation in front of my own children. I have poured sin on Your beauty in front of their very eyes. I am a very broken vessel that has claimed to be the finest of silver. Such sin! Such arrogance. Please forgive me, Lord God Almighty!

You are Truth. You are Good. Only You are Good. I am vile and in love with myself. Please, Lord, slay self in me. Please put self to death and raise up Christ the King in the void. Please slay the Me in me and bring others, especially my own precious children, to Life through Your Son's resurrection from the dead.

You are my God.
You are my King.
You are my Master.

Please, Jesus, lead me away from what I've become. Please, Jesus, unself me and rip from me the cords of the sins I've embraced. Lead me, Jesus, that I might be be transformed into Your image...that I might be a conduit of Your grace in my children's lives. Please, Jesus, lead me...

Learning to Love, Part 2a--"Self-Sacrifice"

A restaurant in which my husband and daughter, Lissie, ate a couple of weeks ago in a Central Asian capitol.
Like this beautiful ceiling, I want my love for others to be lavish and rich

 

As I said in Part 1 of this series of posts, I want to share Paul Tripp's wisdom when it comes to a biblical understanding of a very misunderstood concept--love. Here's his definition:

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving."

Paul David Tripp, What Did You Expect??, Crossway; pg 188--hardback

For me, this definition comes at my soul with pricks and pokes. This isn't really how I want love to work. I want love to be about me. I want attention to be focused on my needs and my wants. In fact, I want to be the center of attention.

However, Tripp makes it painfully clear that there is no such thing as self-focused "love." In his book, Tripp not only defines love. He carefully breaks down each of the thoughts embedded in his scripturally-based definition. Today we'll look at love being an act of self-sacrifice, which, of course, is as far as you can get from the selfish, self-focused "love" our culture touts and which, truthfully, my natural self craves.

"Love is willing self-sacrifice. There's no such thing as love without sacrifice. Love calls you beyond the borders of your own wants, needs, and feelings. Love calls you to be willing to invest time, energy, money, resources, personal ability and gifts for the good of another. Love calls you to serve, to wait, to give, to suffer, to forgive, and to do all these things again and again." (pg.188) 

I mentioned in my last post that Tripp's book is on the subject of marriage. As things so often are in God's economy, the choices I must make to have a strong, healthy, delight-filled marriage are the very same choices that will enable me to be the parent which I long to be.

Whether my focus in any particular moment is on my husband or my children, I cannot do what Tripp lays out as he expounds on the term self-sacrifice. I can't. Not without help anyway. Thankfully, I have a Saviour who has promised me the very strength I need to die--to self that is. All I have to do is ask. Experience--28 years as a wife and 22 years as a mother--tells me that I will, however, have to ask again and again and again and... But God sets no limits on His willingness to come to our aid in our desire to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel.

Paul Tripp has more to say about the concept of loving self-sacrificially. I don't know about you, but I need to chew on just these few sentences for while before I'm ready for more. So, Learning to Love, Part 2b--"Self-Sacrifice" is yet to come.


Learning to Love, Part 1

A restaurant in Central Asia--May my love be large and expansive like this beautiful place!

In his book on marriage, What Did You Expect?, author Paul David Tripp shares some of the best wisdom Jim and I have read regarding getting along with people in any relationship. Period. With a family of 15 (soon to be 19 as we add four siblings through adoption), Jim and I are keenly aware of our need to live well with others!

In fact, we've taken Tripp's definition of love as our family's. He boils down so much Scripture into one powerful (and sometimes powerfully convicting!) sentence.

In the next few posts, I'm going to share Tripp's break down of each of the components of his definition. I need the reminder. If you do too, may you be blessed!

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the other person being loved is deserving."

Paul Tripp, Crossway, pg. 188 (hardback)

Tripp says:

"Love is willing. Jesus said, 'No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.' (John 10:18 ESV). The decisions, words, and actions of love always grow in the soil of a willing heart. You cannot force a person to love. If you are forcing someone to love, by the very nature of the act you are demonstrating that this person doesn't in fact love." (pg. 188) 

What if my heart is, when I'm really honest, unwilling? As many commandments as there are to love in the Bible (Please, if you're not familiar with them, get out your Bible and go on a hunt!), it's time to fall to my knees, confess my sin, and ask God to make me willing. And then ask again, and again, and... Just like the nagging widow (Luke 18:1-8). We know this is a prayer He will answer because we are praying for His will to be done. And, what He commands, He enables!

Pressed and Pursued

"Our praying needs to be pressed and pursued with an energy that never tires, a persistency that will not be denied, and a courage that never fails." E.M. Bounds

Moved by the Wonder of God

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come...Worthy are You our Lord and Our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things and because of Your will they existed, and were created." (Revelation 4:8b,11 NASB)

'If Momma Ain't Happy'

I am slowly rereading a book I first encountered about a decade ago. At that time, my dear friend, Sheila, recommended the Christian classic to me. Holiness is a weighty book that isn't a quick read, but the meaty content is worth the effort.

The book's full title is: Holiness: Its Nature, Difficulties, Hindrances, and Roots. It was written by J.C. Ryle in the late 1880s. As I'm working my way through the chapter called "Holiness", I have been quite challenged by much of what I've read. However, nothing has touch my heart like the quote below. How glorious my Saviour is! How little I am like Him, even after being one of His followers for 35 years!

I can easily recognize how my living like Jesus in the way that Ryle so articualately describes would make such a difference in the "temperature" of our home. While its a somewhat crass saying, it is certainly true that, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." The joy I wish to exude in my home and shower on my husband and children can only come from my saying, "No," to me and "Yes" to living humbly and selflessly for the sake of others. I pray the Lord will work the holiness Jesus exemplified into my very soul. I pray He will conform me into the image of His son. Then Momma will be happy more of the time and so will everyone else who lives under the same roof with me.

Ryle writes:
"A holy man will strive to be like our Lord Jesus Christ. He will not only live the life of faith in Him, and draw from Him all his daily peace and strength, but he will also labour to have the mind that was in Him, and to be conformed to His image (Rom. 8:29).

"It will be his aim to bear with and forgive others, even as Christ forgave us; to be unselfish, even as Christ pleased not Himself; to walk in love, even as Christ loved us; to be lowly-minded and humble, even as Christ made Himself of no reputation and humbled Himself.

"He will remember that Christ was a faithful witness for the truth; that He came not to do His own will; that it was His meat and drink to do His Father's will; that He would continually deny Himself in order to minister to others; that He was meek and patient under undeserved insults; that He thought more of godly poor men than of kings; that He was full of love and compassion to sinners; that He was bold and uncompromising in denouncing sin; that He sought not the praise of men, when He might have had it; that He went about doing good; that He was separate from worldly people; that He continued instant in prayer; that He would not let even His nearest relations stand in His way when God's work was to be done.

"These things a holy man will try to remember. By them he will endeavour to shape his course in life. He will lay to heart the saying of John: 'He that saith He abideth in [Christ] ought himself so to walk, even as He walked' (1 John 2:6)..."

What is Holiness?

"Holiness is the habit of being of one mind with God, according as we find His mind described in Scripture. It is the habit of agreeing in God's judgement, hating what He hates, loving what He loves, and measuring everything in this world by the standard of His word...

"A holy man will shun every known sin, and to keep every known commandment. He will have a decided bent of mind towards God, a desire to do His will, a greater fear of displeasing Him than of displeasing the world, and a great love to all His ways.

"A holy man will strive to be like our Lord Jesus...

"A holy man will follow after meekness, longsuffering, gentleness, patience, kind tempers, government of his tongue. He will bear much, overlook much and be slow to talk of standing on his rights..."

J.C. Ryle, Holiness, pgs. 34, 35