I'm Ready for 2016

Stunning vacation home Mr R and I were blessed to rent on the Maine Coast
to celebrate our 30 anniversary

Throughout my life I've made a mistake. That error is this: I've all too often thought peace meant getting away from hard or tiring circumstances. You know...taking a holiday, a vacation or at least a good nap.

This past year the Lord has been teaching me otherwise. Peace ~ real peace//lasting peace ~ will only come in accepting my current circumstances and trusting God. I can hear the echo of this sentiment in Jesus' words from the garden, "Not My, but Thy will done." I want to live like Jesus. And, I want to die to self like my Savior did.

So, I'm ready for 2016.
I'm ready to let go.
I'm ready to give up control.
I'm ready to back off.
I'm ready to surrender my expectations.
I'm ready to stop clutching.
I'm ready to stop grasping.
I'm ready to stop holding my breath.
I'm ready to stop insisting on my way.
I'm ready to stop striving for perfection.
I'm ready to stop fighting to lead.
I'm ready to stop panicking.
I'm ready to stop insisting.
I'm read to stop worrying.
I'm ready to stop demanding.

With God's promised help,
I'm ready for 2016.
I'm ready to trust Jesus.
I'm ready to trust Jesus with the outcome.
I'm ready to learn how to forgive.
I'm ready to breathe deeply and slowly.
I'm ready to exercise regularly.
I'm ready to serve others.
I'm ready to get rid of stuff.
I'm ready to be okay with messy and dirty.
I'm ready to spend more time in my Bible.
I'm ready to start blogging again.
I'm ready to pray about writing a book.
I'm ready to plan purposed times of rest.
I'm ready to trust Jesus.
I'm ready to let my kids make mistakes.
I'm ready to fight my anger.
I'm ready to learn how to watercolor.
I'm ready to eat less.
I'm ready to try to get to know my neighbors.
I'm ready to fight anxiety.
I'm ready to work to know God.
I'm ready to give my husband grace.
I'm ready to trust Jesus.
I'm ready to listen to my children.
I'm ready to stop interrupting my husband.
I'm ready to get my camera out more often.
I'm ready to pray more.
I'm ready to fight my fears.
I'm ready to learn to love lavishly.
I'm ready to strengthen my organizational skills.
I'm ready to trust God with how my kids turn out.
I'm ready for 2016.

None of these are New Year's Resolutions. I will fail. I will slip and stumble and slide and fall flat on my face. I'd prefer to think of these as places of grace for myself. When I fall, I'm going to put a hand to the ground and push myself back into a standing position, relying on the Lord's strength to do so. I'm going to keep on trying. I'm going to bathe these dreams in prayer. When I mess up, I'm going to confess any sin to God, set my account right with the people I love and try again. "God is my helper and the uplifter of my life" (Psalm 54:4 ESV) He's my solid rock, not me. I'm ready to stand on Him and throw myself joyfully into the waves that will come in 2016. God is with me and for me. I'm ready. I'm ready for the peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7).

No More Sword Practice!

"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,
But the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Proverbs 12:18 (NASB)

This is a verse that I have been rehearsing daily for about a year. I put it on a 3x5 card for review each day because deep in my soul I recognize a tendency to use words "like the thrusts of a sword." I yearn instead to have a tongue that brings healing.

As I've slowly memorized the verse (that's what the intentional daily rehearsing does for me), I've also meditated on the thoughts called out and pulled out a couple of resources for better understanding.

Some months ago, I looked up the word rashly in Webster's 1828 Dictionary: "Rashly--without due deliberation."

Ouch! I was convicted immediately by the now obvious understanding that I was to T.H.I.N.K. before speaking. Hmm...an all-too novel concept for me.

More recently I checked out what John Kitchen has to say about the verse in his insightful commentary, Proverbs,

"Here is the idea of one who unlocks the door of their lips and lets flow whatever the moment may evoke. There is no thought, no weighing of one's words, only reaction. When we speak like this, we wound, even kill relationships...Like a mad man flailing away with a sword in a crowd of innocent people, so the person who does not measure his words wounds many."

Even deeper OUCH! How many times have wounded those I love the most? After all I'm most likely to speak without thinking within the confines of my own home. When I react to circumstances and open my mouth without due deliberation, it is my beloved husband and treasured children who are likely to the victim's of my tongue's shrapnel.

My only hope? God's willingness to help.

Thus my new practice is to PRAY when I reach the card with Proverbs 12:18 on it in my rehearsal stack each morning during my time alone with God:

O, Lord, please keep me from speaking rashly today. I cannot do this without You. I am so wont to hurt others with my words. Please help me to think before I speak. Please help me to be like Jesus and only speak words which come from You (John 6:63, 8:28). Please mold me into a person whose tongue brings healing. I am completely dependent on You, Lord. Please help me!

A Mark of Wisdom

"The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way" 

  (Proverbs 14:8a NASB)

Bible commentator John Kitchen writes, "Such a one can look at his conduct (his way) and his motives and accurately identify them for what they are... The proverbs repeatedly hail the one who can objectively evaluate himself and trim his actions accordingly." Proverbs, pgs. 305,306

This ability to sense when I'm headed in the wrong direction with my words or actions is a yearning of my heart as a result of having sinned against others--thus defiling God's glory--more times than I'd care to recount.

This half-a-Proverb can so easily be turned into a prayer: Lord, please grant me the wisdom to understand my way. Take away the blinders of pride and self righteousness that lead me far from You. Help me to do an immediate U-turn of repentance as soon as my eyes are opened by Your grace to the fact that I'm on a path which will result in me hurting others and failing to glorify You."

This short gem also makes a perfect prayer for my children: Lord, I pray that You will weave into each of my children and their spouses the prudence to understand their way. Our culture is daily pounding them with messages that make behaviors like anger, rebellion and unforgiveness not only okay but even expected. Self-focus, the very opposite of Your way, is touted before them as a virtual virtue. O Great God, give my children sin-sensitive souls.

This morning I wrote Proverbs 14:8a on an index card and added it to the stack I try to review daily. I've found this practice which I took up in early March has been a tremendous springboard not just for knowing more scripture but also for energizing my prayer life. Now this new index card will now help me to remember to ask the Lord to mold me into a person who understands her ways.