12.30.83

Oh, how I love my man!

Learning to Love by Listening

The longer I that I'm a wife and mama the more I realize that I'm far too skilled at talking. So often I should be listening instead. Rehearsing this verse daily is helping:

"The mind of the intelligent seeks knowledge,
But the mouth of fools feeds on folly." ~Proverbs 15:14 (NASB)

Here's what I've written on the 3X5 index card I return to each day:

Seek to love.

   Seek to understand.

      Listen, rather than talking.

         Listen, rather than interrupting.

            Listen, rather than inserting your opinion.

                 Listen, rather than trying to persuade.

                    Listen, seeking knowledge.

                       Listen...praying.

                          Listen...trusting God with the circumstance.

Life is Too Short for a Spat with My Spouse

The story behind these beautiful photos is here: Life is so short!

Yesterday my husband and I had a fight.

Quite a fight.

We created our own wedded unbliss.

We did eventually reach reconciliation. We forgave. We put the hard words and the unkind insinuations behind us. But the hours it took us to arrive at resolution were gone. Forever.

The source of the quarrel? My pride...his pride...each of us trying to build our own kingdom.

I would have been touched by the story linked above about a beautiful marriage cut short at any reading. But following my folly yesterday, it cut me to the quick. I must not waste my marriage. Every moment the Lord allows me as a wife is precious. Priceless.

My husband and I have had 30 amazing years, and for that blessing I thank God. But good health tomorrow is an unknown.

We don't know when death will part us.

So the next time my pride feels the need to take a stand...the next time I'm determined to prove my rightness, I'm going to choose to lay down arms. I'm going to give in instead of pushing back. I'm going wave the white flag of surrender. Because when we fight, I don't win...even if I win.

I refuse to waste my marriage in a turf war. Life is too short.

(My husband gave his permission to post this.)

365 People Pictures: Day 20--A New Role

Today is my husband's birthday. Since his last birthday, he has become a grandpa. God gives me much joy in watching my beloved husband of three decades revel in the glorious gift of a granddaughter. There is now no quicker way to get a smile out of my man than to mention his little Brielle to him.

Brielle--8 months

365 People Pictures -- Day 5: My Beloved

Day 5:

On Sunday my husband and I will celebrate 29 amazing years together. If there have ever been two people who have, by God's grace, lived an adventurous life together, it would have to be us! Even now, we wait to hear if the State Department will be able to help us (and other families in similar situations). Just today Russian President Putin signed into law a bill banning Americans from adopting Russian children. We still long to bring to closure our adoption of three precious brothers and their little sister. So, we wait and we pray while we thank the Lord for the many, many blessings He has provided over the years, including 12 children and one grandchild. God is, indeed, faithful. And, nothing will be impossible with God! (Luke 1:37 NASB)

Today I captured this picture of my best friend staring out an airport window watching for a plane to arrive. That plane was carrying Lissie's friend, Eric, and his sister, Kali--also a dear friend of our daughter. Eric and Lissie will have the opportunity to spend two weeks together so that they have a better idea where their relationship is headed before Lissie returns to her teaching job in Central Asia in mid January.

Learning to Love, Part 1

A restaurant in Central Asia--May my love be large and expansive like this beautiful place!

In his book on marriage, What Did You Expect?, author Paul David Tripp shares some of the best wisdom Jim and I have read regarding getting along with people in any relationship. Period. With a family of 15 (soon to be 19 as we add four siblings through adoption), Jim and I are keenly aware of our need to live well with others!

In fact, we've taken Tripp's definition of love as our family's. He boils down so much Scripture into one powerful (and sometimes powerfully convicting!) sentence.

In the next few posts, I'm going to share Tripp's break down of each of the components of his definition. I need the reminder. If you do too, may you be blessed!

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the other person being loved is deserving."

Paul Tripp, Crossway, pg. 188 (hardback)

Tripp says:

"Love is willing. Jesus said, 'No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.' (John 10:18 ESV). The decisions, words, and actions of love always grow in the soil of a willing heart. You cannot force a person to love. If you are forcing someone to love, by the very nature of the act you are demonstrating that this person doesn't in fact love." (pg. 188) 

What if my heart is, when I'm really honest, unwilling? As many commandments as there are to love in the Bible (Please, if you're not familiar with them, get out your Bible and go on a hunt!), it's time to fall to my knees, confess my sin, and ask God to make me willing. And then ask again, and again, and... Just like the nagging widow (Luke 18:1-8). We know this is a prayer He will answer because we are praying for His will to be done. And, what He commands, He enables!

My Chance to See "The Belly Bump"!

My oldest daughter, Anna, and Aaron, her husband--my son-by-marriage, will be visiting this coming weekend. Anna is pregnant with their first child and will be 18-1/2 weeks along when they're here. When we saw the "three" of them at Thanksgiving, Anna was just beginning to show.

I am so eager to see my baby now that Anna is truly showing as she carries her baby! Praise the Lord for His great goodness in breathing new life into our family! Since Aaron and Anna live in Ohio this will probably be my only chance to see her little one while he/she is still inside mommy. You can bet I'm going to wrap my arms tightly around both of them.
Here are some other photos I snatched of the nearly newlyweds as they relaxed at sunset on the shore of Lake Superior in November:

I love having the chance to capture their romance with my camera! I'm a happy mama to have a girlie who is so happy in the role of wife which the Lord has given her! I'm a happy mama to have a son-in-law who nurtures and cherishes his wife!

Consider...

Today our family returned to memorizing scripture. We'd really let the practice of writing God's word on our hearts (for the sake of meditating on it) slip away as we've lived through so many unusual events in the past year.

This verse caught my eye and resounded in my heart earlier in the week so I decided to make it my first goal:

"Only fear the Lord and serve Him in truth with all your heart;
for consider what great things He has done for you." (1 Samuel 12:24)

If ever there was a woman for whom God has done great things, I am she! Here is the greatest of my earthly blessings:

God has done great things for me!

To My Man

To My Dear and Loving Husband

by Anne Bradstreet, 1678

If ever two were one, then surely we.

If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;

If ever wife was happy in a man,

Compare with me, ye women, if you can.

I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold

Or all the riches that the East doth hold.

Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.

My love is such that rivers cannot quench,

Thy love is such I can no way repay,

The heaven reward thee manifold, I pray.

Then while we live, in love let's so persevere

That when we live no more, we may live ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To God be the glory!