A Mark of Wisdom

"The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way" 

  (Proverbs 14:8a NASB)

Bible commentator John Kitchen writes, "Such a one can look at his conduct (his way) and his motives and accurately identify them for what they are... The proverbs repeatedly hail the one who can objectively evaluate himself and trim his actions accordingly." Proverbs, pgs. 305,306

This ability to sense when I'm headed in the wrong direction with my words or actions is a yearning of my heart as a result of having sinned against others--thus defiling God's glory--more times than I'd care to recount.

This half-a-Proverb can so easily be turned into a prayer: Lord, please grant me the wisdom to understand my way. Take away the blinders of pride and self righteousness that lead me far from You. Help me to do an immediate U-turn of repentance as soon as my eyes are opened by Your grace to the fact that I'm on a path which will result in me hurting others and failing to glorify You."

This short gem also makes a perfect prayer for my children: Lord, I pray that You will weave into each of my children and their spouses the prudence to understand their way. Our culture is daily pounding them with messages that make behaviors like anger, rebellion and unforgiveness not only okay but even expected. Self-focus, the very opposite of Your way, is touted before them as a virtual virtue. O Great God, give my children sin-sensitive souls.

This morning I wrote Proverbs 14:8a on an index card and added it to the stack I try to review daily. I've found this practice which I took up in early March has been a tremendous springboard not just for knowing more scripture but also for energizing my prayer life. Now this new index card will now help me to remember to ask the Lord to mold me into a person who understands her ways.

Prayer for My Children's Focus

Author of All Existence, Source of All Blessedness,

May my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren

     and all their spouses

be always amongst those who not only hear,

     but know Thee,

  who walk with and rejoice in Thee,

  who take Thee at Thy word and find life there.

May they cherish simplicity and godly sincerety of character.

Help them, please, Redeemer God,

  to set their affections on things above,

  to shun forbidden follies and vanities.

O God, make each of them worthy of Thy calling,

  that the name of Jesus may be glorified.

(Paraphrase of Valley of Vision, pgs. 20,21, leather edition)

Downhearted?

Strutting on the grounds of Warwick Castle, England -- May 2008

Make glad the soul of Your servant,

For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

Psalm 86:4 NASB

Each summer our pastor, Dave Sowers, preaches from the book of Psalms. He calls the series "The Summer Psalms." We have been richly blessed as he takes us deeper into individual Psalms Sunday after Sunday. However, not only do we grow to understand specific Psalms at a more profound level, but we also learn new ways to pray. Pastor Dave has instructed us repeatedly that if we see one of the Psalmists cry out to God in a particular way then we can use that as a model for our praying.

A couple of weeks ago, the verse above caught my eye. When I'm feeling dragged down, I can lift my heart to the Lord and make the Psalmist's cry my plea: "O Lord, please make my soul glad. To You I lift up my soul."

I have already prayed this way on a couple of harder days when I have felt pulled down by my circumstances. Within the next hour or two it slowly dawns on me that my spirit has been buoyed. I feel hopeful again. Not so overwhelmed. Despite no change in what's happening around me, I find I'm able to relish the day, instead of merely trudging through it.

A Conscience Jab

Today, I picked up a book that I've owned for years. When I flipped it open, the pages parted to this prayer:

"O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Make [my] heart like Yours,
From the desire of being esteemed,
      DELIVER ME, O JESUS.
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the desire of being popular,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being *calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being suspected,
That others may be more loved than I,
JESUS, GRANT ME THE GRACE TO DESIRE IT
That others may be esteemed more than I,
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase
     and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided
     that I may become as holy as I should...
Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world,
     have mercy on [me], O Lord.

(Eileen Egan and Kathleen Egan, Prayertimes with Mother Teresa, (New York: Image Books, 1989), 134-5. Used with permission as quoted in How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong, Vernick, 98-9)


I'm certain it was no coincidence that the book opened to this reflection. The Lord was intimately at work in my life at that moment, and I was duely pricked and poked as I read. I see in these words many forms of self-focus that fester in my heart. As a wife, I want to be consulted. As a mom, I'm regularly tempted to insist on being honored. As a homemaker, I'm certain I deserve to be praised.

But I don't want pride to determine my thoughts, my words or my actions. I belong to Jesus, and I want Him to rule and reign in my heart instead. I'm going to hang this prayer on my mirror to remind me to keep crying out to the great Heart-Changer that He'll remake me in the image of His Son, just as He's promised to do.

*Calumniated--Slandered; falsely accused; maliciously accused of what is criminal, immoral or disgraceful. (Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 2005)

My Daughter's Prayers

Despite the fact that my daughter, Lissie, is thirty years my junior, I find myself learning much from her. She has an exceptional faith in God.

One of the ways Lissie's belief in our astonishing God has grown wings is in her prayers for orphaned children. In 2009, Lissie learned of a boy who needed parents, a home, a family, and, most importantly, the ONLY answer to his numberless needs--the gospel. Unbeknownst to her parents, she began to pray. She tells the story of Christmas 2009 far better than I can. Please take a look at her most recent post.

I want to pray, believing--like my Lissie does--that God hears. I want to pray, believing--like my Lissie does--that God moves. I want to pray, believing--like my Lissie does--that God reaches down into broken lives and heals. I want to pray like my Lissie does--believing.

Although Lissie's story in her post is about God's answer to her prayers about her newest brother, I couldn't easily find a photo of Lissie and "Alexander" (Nikolai) together in Russia, so I've posted pictures of Lissie and the two girls we adopted at the same time. Lissie has played a key role in each of our adoptions of nine older children over the past decade. She prays, and then she loves--while continuing to pray fervently for each of her siblings' healing and salvation. She prays--believing. She's a hero to me.

Oksana (6) and Lissie (18) in G.U.M., the elegant mall in Red Square, Moscow,
November 2010, the week our family traveled to Russia
to bring home our three new family members

Lissie and Daria (15) in G.U.M.

Penetrating Light

O Great God Who Sees All, Knows All and is All Wise,

Please make Jim and me aware of any sin in our home with which You know we need to deal.

Please start Your sin-illumination by showing Jim and me our "logs" (Luke 6:41). Please help the two of us to see our sin, loathe our sin, and be filled with humble self-abasement that fills us with love for You, the wrath-enduring substitute who makes our forgiveness possible.

Lord, as You shine your Light on our children's "splinters" (Luke 6:41), please fill us with Christ's compassion for the lost. Please grant that, with the Holy Spirit living in us, we might overflow with patience.

We are unworthy parents marred by rebellion against You, and yet you've blessed us with 13 children and a grandchild on the way. You are so good. Please mold us into the image of Your Son that we might parent in a way that glorifies You.