Nothing Good

Today I was on my way to Romans 8 when these words--underlined at some earlier time in red and blue--caught my eye:

"Nothing good dwells in me." (Romans 7:18 NASB)

I read again.

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me."

Yes, as I review my life--even just the past week--I have plenty of empirical evidence. I know that nothing good dwells in me.

I am a constant danger to those I love most.

I am a constant danger to the cause of Christ.

I am a constant danger to the cause of orphan care.

I am a constant danger to everyone and everything I hold most dear. What an irony...what I long to protect, I have the power to destroy. "...evil is present in me." (Romans 7:21 NASB)

I need God.
I need God to hold me back.
I need God to hold me back from harming His name.
I need God to hold me back from harming those I love.
I need God to hold me back from harming the opportunity to do good while I yet breath...

I need God.
I need God to slay Self.
I need God to slay Self and replace Me with Christ, author of all that is good.
I need God.

Oh, God, help me...

Great Link--A Chuckle AND Encouragement

I became aware of Andrea Young, the author of the blog to which I've inserted a link. through our friends the Nordstroms. Both families adopted from Ethiopia through All God's Children (AGCI) and "met" through a waiting-families loop. Andrea is a great writer and I was touched in a couple of ways that were good for my soul by her most recent post. Read and be blessed...

I wanna be a follower...

Denise

Lord, Lead Me Away

The gardens of Clivden estate, Buckinghamshire, England--2008 

Lord, lead me away from who I've become. Save my children from what I have done.

I have discipled my children in the wrong thing...a love of the world rather than a love of the Maker of the World. I have modeled pride before these precious gifts from You (Psalm 127)...and then pointed an accusing finger when they demonstrate arrogance. I have been irritated in front of them and then gotten mad when they demonstrate anger.

I am a profoundly proud woman who names the name of Christ and yet depends on self, values self, flaunts self, seeks to protect self. My words and my "walk" do not match. I am a hypocrite. Christ's word for the hypocrite? Some of the strongest He ever spoke, "Woe to you, hypocrite...!" (Matthew 23)

O, Jesus, have mercy on me. I am a sinner. I am desperately wicked and my sin is counter to everything in You that is holy. I need a Saviour. I need a Saviour, Jesus. I need You, Jesus.

I have counted myself worthy. I am not worthy. I am wicked. Only You, Jesus, are worthy. Worthy is the blood of the Lamb who was slain! Worthy is the blood of the Lamb who was slain that my sins might be paid for...a debt I could never repay. Jesus, You are holy. You are mighty. You are meek. You are humble. You are gentle. You are God. You are the only path to redemption.

Please forgive me, Great God. I have stained Your reputation in front of my own children. I have poured sin on Your beauty in front of their very eyes. I am a very broken vessel that has claimed to be the finest of silver. Such sin! Such arrogance. Please forgive me, Lord God Almighty!

You are Truth. You are Good. Only You are Good. I am vile and in love with myself. Please, Lord, slay self in me. Please put self to death and raise up Christ the King in the void. Please slay the Me in me and bring others, especially my own precious children, to Life through Your Son's resurrection from the dead.

You are my God.
You are my King.
You are my Master.

Please, Jesus, lead me away from what I've become. Please, Jesus, unself me and rip from me the cords of the sins I've embraced. Lead me, Jesus, that I might be be transformed into Your image...that I might be a conduit of Your grace in my children's lives. Please, Jesus, lead me...

Relishing Russia's Beautiful Craft Heritage

I'm having significant connection issues and our current adoption effort (combined with the "normal" craziness of life in a super-sized family) is keeping us from attending to the household electronics issue. So just a photo tonight:

Two years ago, my husband, Jim, and I spent a couple of days in Moscow finishing the very last official details of our adoption of Daria, Alexander and Oksana (at the time 15-, 11- and 6-years-old). We then traveled to the region in which they lived for the long-awaited court date that would make them our babies.

Before getting on the train, we also shopped for souvenirs for the nine children we'd left back home. This picture beings back sweet memories of the long time the two of us spent carefully picking out just the right item for each child. The beautiful shop is located on the world-famous pedestrian mall called The Arbat.

Our Adoption: Urgent Prayer Request

At the orphanage -- September 2012
Our little girl is the one in the middle!

We would be so grateful if you would pray one simple prayer for us perseveringly until we get news that God has answered our collective cry.

Please pray that we will get a court date before the end of the year. We were told this week by our adoption service provider that this will be nearly impossible. She also informed my husband, Jim, that if our case goes into the next calendar year, many of our documents will have to be redone simply because the year 2013 now appears at the top of the calendar. This redoing of paperwork is not a quick process. The cost in time is likely to slow down our ability to bring home our four siblings by two to three months.

So, please, would you cry out to the Father of the Fatherless that He would do the impossible for us--yet again and give us a court date in Russia before January 1? After all, "For nothing will be impossible with God." (Luke 1:27). In your prayers, you partner with us in orphan care (James 1:27)! Thank you, we simply couldn't do what we do with out an enourmous prayer team!

Learning to Love, Part 2a--"Self-Sacrifice"

A restaurant in which my husband and daughter, Lissie, ate a couple of weeks ago in a Central Asian capitol.
Like this beautiful ceiling, I want my love for others to be lavish and rich

 

As I said in Part 1 of this series of posts, I want to share Paul Tripp's wisdom when it comes to a biblical understanding of a very misunderstood concept--love. Here's his definition:

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving."

Paul David Tripp, What Did You Expect??, Crossway; pg 188--hardback

For me, this definition comes at my soul with pricks and pokes. This isn't really how I want love to work. I want love to be about me. I want attention to be focused on my needs and my wants. In fact, I want to be the center of attention.

However, Tripp makes it painfully clear that there is no such thing as self-focused "love." In his book, Tripp not only defines love. He carefully breaks down each of the thoughts embedded in his scripturally-based definition. Today we'll look at love being an act of self-sacrifice, which, of course, is as far as you can get from the selfish, self-focused "love" our culture touts and which, truthfully, my natural self craves.

"Love is willing self-sacrifice. There's no such thing as love without sacrifice. Love calls you beyond the borders of your own wants, needs, and feelings. Love calls you to be willing to invest time, energy, money, resources, personal ability and gifts for the good of another. Love calls you to serve, to wait, to give, to suffer, to forgive, and to do all these things again and again." (pg.188) 

I mentioned in my last post that Tripp's book is on the subject of marriage. As things so often are in God's economy, the choices I must make to have a strong, healthy, delight-filled marriage are the very same choices that will enable me to be the parent which I long to be.

Whether my focus in any particular moment is on my husband or my children, I cannot do what Tripp lays out as he expounds on the term self-sacrifice. I can't. Not without help anyway. Thankfully, I have a Saviour who has promised me the very strength I need to die--to self that is. All I have to do is ask. Experience--28 years as a wife and 22 years as a mother--tells me that I will, however, have to ask again and again and again and... But God sets no limits on His willingness to come to our aid in our desire to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel.

Paul Tripp has more to say about the concept of loving self-sacrificially. I don't know about you, but I need to chew on just these few sentences for while before I'm ready for more. So, Learning to Love, Part 2b--"Self-Sacrifice" is yet to come.


Learning to Love, Part 1

A restaurant in Central Asia--May my love be large and expansive like this beautiful place!

In his book on marriage, What Did You Expect?, author Paul David Tripp shares some of the best wisdom Jim and I have read regarding getting along with people in any relationship. Period. With a family of 15 (soon to be 19 as we add four siblings through adoption), Jim and I are keenly aware of our need to live well with others!

In fact, we've taken Tripp's definition of love as our family's. He boils down so much Scripture into one powerful (and sometimes powerfully convicting!) sentence.

In the next few posts, I'm going to share Tripp's break down of each of the components of his definition. I need the reminder. If you do too, may you be blessed!

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the other person being loved is deserving."

Paul Tripp, Crossway, pg. 188 (hardback)

Tripp says:

"Love is willing. Jesus said, 'No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.' (John 10:18 ESV). The decisions, words, and actions of love always grow in the soil of a willing heart. You cannot force a person to love. If you are forcing someone to love, by the very nature of the act you are demonstrating that this person doesn't in fact love." (pg. 188) 

What if my heart is, when I'm really honest, unwilling? As many commandments as there are to love in the Bible (Please, if you're not familiar with them, get out your Bible and go on a hunt!), it's time to fall to my knees, confess my sin, and ask God to make me willing. And then ask again, and again, and... Just like the nagging widow (Luke 18:1-8). We know this is a prayer He will answer because we are praying for His will to be done. And, what He commands, He enables!