Favorite Quote: Rethinking Productivity

I'm in the midst of pondering my use of time. My husband, Jim, and I are reading the FABULOUS book What's Best Next? by Matthew Perman to one another and enjoying leisurely discussions of our individual and family goals, schedules and general stewardship of time.

When I came upon this prayer in my time with the Lord yesterday morning, many of the sentiments struck deep as I ponder the shape that my days will take as this summer winds down. I'm going to paste this quote into my calender to read, peruse and perhaps even memorize during weekly and daily planning sessions. The Puritan who penned prayer 300-400 years ago this captures my heart's desire beautifully. I want the Lord to empty me of me. I want to do Kingdom work right where He puts me, day-in and day-out.

"God of My End,

...O how desirable, how profitable to the Christian life
     is a spirit of holy watchfulness
     and godly jealousy over myself,
     when my soul is afraid of nothing
     except grieving and offending Thee,
          the blessed God, my Father and Friend,
     whom I then love and long to please,
     rather than be happy in myself!

Knowing, as I do, that this is the pious temper,
     worthy of the highest ambition,
          and closest pursuit of intelligent creatures
          and holy Christians,
     may my joy derive from glorifying
          and delighting Thee.

I long to fill all my time for Thee,
     whether at home or away;
     to place all my concerns in Thy hands;
     to be entirely at Thy disposal,
     having no will or interest of my own.

Help me to live to Thee for ever,
     to make Thee my last and only end,
     so that I may never more in one instance
         love my sinful self."

Valley of Vision, "Devotion", pg. 237

Favorite Quotes: I'm No Hot-House Plant

As was moving books around today, I opened an old favorite to words I had highlighted about 15 years ago which really caught my attention again: 

"True holiness does not make a Christian evade difficulties, but face and overcome them. Christ would have His people show that His grace is not a mere hot-house plant, which can only thrive under shelter, but a strong hardy thing which can flourish in every relation of life. It is doing our duty in that state to which God has called us, like salt in the midst of corruption and light in the midst of darkness, which is the primary element of sanctification."

J.C. Ryle, Holiness

If I want my walk as a follower of Christ to cause Jesus to shine in the eyes of others, I must demonstrate strength and perseverence, while depending on and trusting in His daily gift of ever-sufficient grace. Christians don't give up and they don't give in. Christians can't give out and they can't give in. They are overcomers! I'm to be an overcomer! I'm to stare danger or discouragement in the face and keep right on walkin'.

I've found during the past decade and a half that scripture rehearsal is critical to my ability to just keep plowing on in the face of whatever daunting difficulties might come my way. I used to call it scripture memorization, but the truth is I'm not very good at memorizing. However, I've found that the process of reading a verse or passage that is written out on a 3x5 card many times and intentionally processing the intent of the words has the necessary effect of strengthening me. I'm also more selfless and ready to serve when I meditate on God's word every day. For me, scripture rehearsal (that might lead to memorizing the passage) is as crucial as eating. I've learned that I need the Bread of Life at least as much as I need food! After all, I'm to be an overcomer!

Favorite Quotes: The Reason Behind My Top Priority Each Day

My second in my series of favorite quotes from books I've read is actually a continuation from Jean Stockdale's book Proverbs and Principle for Parenting Practically Perfect Progeny. (Hence a second photo of the same flower.)

I am a lover of God's word. As such, I find the words below both comforting and convicting. Her words remind me why the first thing I do each day is open my Bible.

"God's Word is not a rule book. It is not a list of external religious rituals that we are required to adhere to or memorize. God's Word is a love letter from a Father to His child. It is truth. It is full of promises, principles, and precepts. It contains God's warnings, His wisdom, and even His wit. It is His divine revelation and the riches of His grace. It reveals both humanity's ruin and God's remedy. It is the story of redemption by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is full of hope and heaven. It declares Jesus to be God's only begotten Son and the one and only way to be forgiven and reconciled with God the Father. Who would dare to deal with it casually or carelessly?" (pg. 16)

Favorite Quotes: Is My Bible Falling Apart?

We need to do some serious book sorting in this house. As I prepare to move books from one location to another, I've decided to record some of my favorite quotes. Right now, wonderful words that have wielded introspection over the years are locked between the front and back pages of the book in which they reside. I know it will do me good to see them again. The header to this blog states that it is my electronic journal. In the past, I stored favorite quotes in traditional journals. It's time to record these wise words here.

This first quote is one of my all time favorites, and it came from an unexpected source: a workbook called Proverbs and Principles for Parenting Practically Perfect Progeny: Timeless Truths from Proverbs for Training Tots to Teens by Jean Stockdale:

"For nearly 24 years I have been a serious Bible student. Early in my Christian experience I discovered that God's Word is His precious love letter to His church corporately and to His children personally. It is to be reverenced and cherished as the holy breath of God. It is to be studied, memorized, read, re-read, meditated on, and consumed with relish. Bibles are to be examined, studied, perused, scanned, wept over, underlined, marked up, outlined, dog-eared, worn out, and regularly replaced. If your Bible is falling apart, the chances are very good that your life is not.

"God's Word is not to be yet another leather accessory for your Sunday wardrobe. It is your sustenance, the foundation for your life, the anchor of your soul, and the song of your heart." (pg. 15)

Self-love is the very devil himself in us.

It is the prince of the devils in us.

It is the deepest root

And the ultimate bottom

Of all our sin and all our iniquity.

Thomas Shepherd

O Lord, keep me from self-love! Slay it, please! And fill the chasm that results with Christ.

Pride: A Prickly Problem

As our oldest son, John, was working on his business degree, he had to do some research in professional journals. He came across this quote at the bottom of one of the articles. He was staggered by the writer's humility. John read the quote to me, and I quickly requested a copy.

"If any good has come from what has been done, all glory goes to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is to Him that I owe my life both temporal and eternal. Whatever talent, ability or accomplishment that I have enjoyed has been given from His hand. It is by His grace alone that 'I live and move and have my being.' (Acts 17:28)" ~Jeffrey K. Fawcett

I'm so prone to pride. Even blogging fuels this foul monster that lives inside me. However, my heart's desire is to make my way through life exhibiting humility, remembering at all times the True Source of my life and any accomplishments. I am simply His tool. Trying to keep that focus, I have a sticky card with this quote on it hanging in a strategic location in our bathroom so that I reread the words frequently. Perhaps, though, I need to memorize it. Hmmm... The fight goes on.

No More Excuses

Even if I only read one book in the entire Bible, one thing would become clear. Proverbs leaves no doubt that those who belong to God are to have self-control over their feelings, their thoughts, their actions, their words, their eating, their drinking, their use of time and their use of money.

Jesus was the ultimate demonstration of this self-control. I will fail in my efforts to imitate Him and demonstrate self-control unless I am "actively dependent upon God at each instant and in each endeavor," (John Kitchen, Proverbs, pg. 237).

How can I be dependent on Someone I don't know well? I can't be. This moment-by-moment dependence on God demands an intimate knowledge of God. The only way I can hope to achieve this level of intimacy is by becoming a person of the Word. His thoughts must become my thoughts. His ways must become my ways (See Isaiah 55:8,9). This means investing time and energy in reading and rereading and rereading and rereading His word. I must stop making excuses and memorize His word, and this must be life-change memorization, not the kind of cramming that prepares a person for a quiz. This will take hard work. There's just now way around it. This will also require cutting something out of my life, probably spending as much time at my computer.

I've spent my life telling people I wish I had more self-control. It's time to stop wishing. It's time to consistently invest myself in knowing God so well that I can be actively dependent upon Him--moment-by-moment--no matter what life throws at me. It's time to control Self, instead of letting Self control me. It's time to demonstrate enough self-control to hungrily seek God through His word, today and tomorrow and the next day and the next... It's time. No more excuses.

(Many of these thoughts have crystallized after listening to Jim Berg's message: Eagles and Turkeys. Many of the terms are his.)

Prayer for My Children's Focus

Author of All Existence, Source of All Blessedness,

May my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren

     and all their spouses

be always amongst those who not only hear,

     but know Thee,

  who walk with and rejoice in Thee,

  who take Thee at Thy word and find life there.

May they cherish simplicity and godly sincerety of character.

Help them, please, Redeemer God,

  to set their affections on things above,

  to shun forbidden follies and vanities.

O God, make each of them worthy of Thy calling,

  that the name of Jesus may be glorified.

(Paraphrase of Valley of Vision, pgs. 20,21, leather edition)

Learning to Love, Part 2a--"Self-Sacrifice"

A restaurant in which my husband and daughter, Lissie, ate a couple of weeks ago in a Central Asian capitol.
Like this beautiful ceiling, I want my love for others to be lavish and rich

 

As I said in Part 1 of this series of posts, I want to share Paul Tripp's wisdom when it comes to a biblical understanding of a very misunderstood concept--love. Here's his definition:

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving."

Paul David Tripp, What Did You Expect??, Crossway; pg 188--hardback

For me, this definition comes at my soul with pricks and pokes. This isn't really how I want love to work. I want love to be about me. I want attention to be focused on my needs and my wants. In fact, I want to be the center of attention.

However, Tripp makes it painfully clear that there is no such thing as self-focused "love." In his book, Tripp not only defines love. He carefully breaks down each of the thoughts embedded in his scripturally-based definition. Today we'll look at love being an act of self-sacrifice, which, of course, is as far as you can get from the selfish, self-focused "love" our culture touts and which, truthfully, my natural self craves.

"Love is willing self-sacrifice. There's no such thing as love without sacrifice. Love calls you beyond the borders of your own wants, needs, and feelings. Love calls you to be willing to invest time, energy, money, resources, personal ability and gifts for the good of another. Love calls you to serve, to wait, to give, to suffer, to forgive, and to do all these things again and again." (pg.188) 

I mentioned in my last post that Tripp's book is on the subject of marriage. As things so often are in God's economy, the choices I must make to have a strong, healthy, delight-filled marriage are the very same choices that will enable me to be the parent which I long to be.

Whether my focus in any particular moment is on my husband or my children, I cannot do what Tripp lays out as he expounds on the term self-sacrifice. I can't. Not without help anyway. Thankfully, I have a Saviour who has promised me the very strength I need to die--to self that is. All I have to do is ask. Experience--28 years as a wife and 22 years as a mother--tells me that I will, however, have to ask again and again and again and... But God sets no limits on His willingness to come to our aid in our desire to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel.

Paul Tripp has more to say about the concept of loving self-sacrificially. I don't know about you, but I need to chew on just these few sentences for while before I'm ready for more. So, Learning to Love, Part 2b--"Self-Sacrifice" is yet to come.


Learning to Love, Part 1

A restaurant in Central Asia--May my love be large and expansive like this beautiful place!

In his book on marriage, What Did You Expect?, author Paul David Tripp shares some of the best wisdom Jim and I have read regarding getting along with people in any relationship. Period. With a family of 15 (soon to be 19 as we add four siblings through adoption), Jim and I are keenly aware of our need to live well with others!

In fact, we've taken Tripp's definition of love as our family's. He boils down so much Scripture into one powerful (and sometimes powerfully convicting!) sentence.

In the next few posts, I'm going to share Tripp's break down of each of the components of his definition. I need the reminder. If you do too, may you be blessed!

"Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the other person being loved is deserving."

Paul Tripp, Crossway, pg. 188 (hardback)

Tripp says:

"Love is willing. Jesus said, 'No one takes [my life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.' (John 10:18 ESV). The decisions, words, and actions of love always grow in the soil of a willing heart. You cannot force a person to love. If you are forcing someone to love, by the very nature of the act you are demonstrating that this person doesn't in fact love." (pg. 188) 

What if my heart is, when I'm really honest, unwilling? As many commandments as there are to love in the Bible (Please, if you're not familiar with them, get out your Bible and go on a hunt!), it's time to fall to my knees, confess my sin, and ask God to make me willing. And then ask again, and again, and... Just like the nagging widow (Luke 18:1-8). We know this is a prayer He will answer because we are praying for His will to be done. And, what He commands, He enables!

No Crushing Allowed!

My first grandchild, Brielle, at 3 days

We all recognize the fragility of a newborn. So tiny. So helpless. So dependent. What's easy to miss, however, is that as our bodies grow there continues to be a fragility to each person's soul. And because of the delicacy of the soul, our words have the power to hurt. Thankfully, the Lord has also given us the ability to use our words to heal.

Proverbs 15:4 (NASB) reads:
A soothing tongue is a tree of life,
But perversion in it crushes the spirit.

Bible commentator John Kitchen has this to say, "What potential lies within our words! We are endowed by our Creator with the capacity to bring either genuine, substantive help to those around us or to inflict incalculable lasting harm upon them  -- all of that by simply opening our mouths!" Proverbs, pg. 327

When I think about crushing the spirit, the picture that comes to mind is one of those monster trucks rolling over and flattening an entire line of cars in it's way as though the autombiles were nothing. I don't want my words to do that to anyone. Ironically, those easiest for me to hurt with my words are my own children. Whether its my tone or the very words themselves, I must remember the power my words have for good or grief and speak to my kiddos in a soothing way that protects their fragile souls. I'm commanded by God to build them up and encourage them, instead of tearing them down or belittling them. No crushing allowed!

Guilty as Charged!

I mentioned in a recent post on our family blog untohimwelive that I've stumbled upon a book called Voices from the Past that is singing to my heart as I struggle with strong pain while awaiting probable surgery at the Mayo Clinic next week.

Sometimes the words I read in this collection of short reflections by various Puritan authors are purely comforting. Sometimes they are uncomfortably convicting. However, even the convicting passages are like a salve to my soul because the challenge they bring helps realign my thinking to be biblical. Only when we think God's thoughts will we find real peace, strength and comfort. And right now, I need a whole lot of peace, strength and comfort! So bring on the conviction!

Today's passage was one that brought the needed OUCH!

"In our sufferings, we need to be more concerned about our duty than our deliverance. We should seriously consider what it is that God desires in our present dispensation. There is no condition or trial in the world but we have the opportunity to exercise some special grace or duty. To desire deliverance alone is self-love and quite natural to man. In affliction man seeks to be delivered and released from his burden. Men make more haste to get their afflictions removed than to be sanctified in them...Let us search and try our ways, Let us consider that the present condition is best for us, and learn in whatever state we are, to be content (Phil. 4:11). Let us rejoice in tribulation (Rom. 5:3) Let us lift up Jesus Christ and make Him glorious by our afflictions. Paul studied more how to adorn the cross than how to avoid it. If he must suffer for Christ, O that Christ might not suffer by him! May Christ be exalted, and let us entrust our souls to a faithful Creator (1 Peter 4:19)." Thomas Chase, Select Works, A Treatise of Afflictions, pp. 65-67

I have fallen into the trap of wanting nothing more than to be set free from my pain. Author Thomas Chase calls that "self-love." Ouch! And yet when I look back over my thirty plus years of following Christ, one truth stands out. God is good and what He does is good, even when it feels hard. In some way that I cannot see yet, this health problem is for my good. In the midst of the daily misery, I need to look not just for rescue, but I also must be on the alert for my Kingdom work. Right now. Today. In the middle of pain strong enough that I find myself holding my breath to fight it. I don't need to wait until I get to the other side of the pain to serve God and glorify Him. I can do that now. And, whatever today's Kingdom assignment is for me, I know that my beloved King will enable me. He is good and what He does is good, even when His plan includes affliction!

Clinging to my King
Denise

Pressed and Pursued

"Our praying needs to be pressed and pursued with an energy that never tires, a persistency that will not be denied, and a courage that never fails." E.M. Bounds

Fighting Fear

  

Lately I've wavered between joy-producing faith and energy-zapping fear. I'm realizing as I swing between extremes that fear is faith's enemy.

I pulled out a book that's helped me tackle fear in the past. Immediately, I was reminded of some important truths:

"You think about your future and think, 'I couldn't handle that. I'm not strong enough.' But you aren't in that situation yet, so you needn't be afraid because you don't have strength for it. God's not going to give you the strength for a situation until you are in that situation. Instead of fearing the future, trust God for the strength for today. Remember you are not alone. You have incredible resources. The Spirit of power dwells in you.

"The Christian is a person of great strength. The Christian has the power to endure hardship, to stand strong when life is difficult, and to hang on in the midst of great pain.

"Why can Christians stand strong? It is because in and of themselves they are naturally strong people? No! Believers can stand strong because the Spirit within them is so powerful." Wayne Mack, The Fear Factor, pg. 17

Author Mack goes on to urge: "Don't be so eager to stay safe. Make pleasing and glorifying God your top priority regardless of what may come your way." pg. 21

One of my favorite books is the autobiographical Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind: Christian Parents Contend with Autism.

None of our twelve children has autism. Despite this, I have read Cathy Steere's book multiple times. As she and her husband struggle with inexplicable behaviors in their first son during his babyhood and toddler years, they determine to be consistent in lovingly training Drew to behave in socially acceptable ways. Cathy shows this same consistency in teaching the very bright little boy reading skills. She never gives up, and she never gives in. When the Steeres eventually find the right treatment plan for Drew, the willing obedience to which he has been trained makes a remarkable difference in how effective the treatment is and how quickly they witness change.

Cathy explains, "Our goal was to always consider Drew's character, and even though we were as consistent as possible and even at times weary over the lack of improvement, we never forgot our responsibility to train and mold his character. That remained our highest duty to the children God blessed us with. Scripture does not lower its standards of how man ought to behave, nor does it exempt one who is autistic...or has Attention Deficit Disorder, or Down's Syndrome, or any other disorder. God's standards, like Himself, never change. It may be more difficult for some to reach certain standards than for others, but the standard remains." (pg. 142)

As we've taken nine older children from orphanages into our family, we've had to train each of them obey an authority figure. We had to coach them in socially and culturally acceptable behavior. We've had to teach them what it looks like to serve Christ by serving others. At times all these parenting demands have felt daunting, but Cathy Steere's example pushes me to refuse to give up and refuse to give in. Today has been a tough day in parenting a certain seven-year-old who's experimenting with two-year-old techniques for managing her parents. I'm grateful I can open Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind for the gentle reminders I need to stay the course.

Even if your situation is not extreme like that of the Steere's family or ours, I highly recommend Cathy's book. I believe every parent of young children would be blessed by reading this unusual opportunity to peak in on someone else's child training. And it's even on sale! (See the link above)

A Wake Up Call

I'm reading a powerful and convicting book called How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong by Leslie Vernick. During a bout of insomnia last night, I read this section which struck deep:

"How we act and live stems from what is in our heart. A change of heart requires much more than simply changing sinful behaviors into more Christlike behaviors. A change of heart requires us to allow God to rearrange the desires of our heart. The things that motivate us in our natural self most should no longer control us; instead, the love of Christ should control us, the glory of God should control us, and the mind of Christ should control us.

     "How do we know if we have idols of our heart? Take them away and watch your reaction. What happens when you don't have power and control? When you don't have peace and serenity? When you don't have respect or security? When you don't have a fat bank account? When you are not recognized for your accomplishments? When you are ignored or humiliated? What happens when you don't get your way? We often don't know our heart is so attached to our idols until they're threatened. Then we fight like mad to keep them!...

     "God is a jealous God. He is jealous of our love. When we love things more than him, he hates it. Ephesians 5 says that when we love something, we will nourish and care for it. When we love our idols, we embrace them, devote ourselves to them, and make it our business to please them, whether they be our love of approval, love of money, love of success, love of being right, love of ourselves, love of pleasure, or love of people. We also live in bondage to our fears, such as the fear of conflict, fear of failure, fear of disapproval, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, fear of intimacy. Our fears are a helpful way to look at the other side of what we love. For example: We love success; we fear failure. We love peace; we fear conflict. We love to please people and make them happy; we fear disapproval or rejection...

     "What rules your heart? What we love most will rule us. Or to put it another way, what we fear losing will control us. God says He is a jealous God and he wants to be first in our heart. Many of us repent of wrong behaviors, even wrong thoughts, but we don't understand that we can't grow to be more like Christ unless our heart loves [Him] more that we love ourselves--or our own desires." (pgs. 94-95, 97)

For a long time, I have struggled with being a person who gets irritated with her children all too easily. I've read books on anger and memorized many Bible verses addressing anger in my longing to change this behavior that I know is sinful. I've made some progress, but much less than I've hoped for. At times my slow change has deeply frunstrated and even confused me. I've tried so hard. The passage above helped me understand that I need to refocus my efforts. I need to stop being so conscious of my responses and become consumed, instead, with loving God. He is worthy of being loved heart, soul and mind, after all.

In the middle of the night, I confessed to God that I don't love Him with all my heart. That was hard to do! I told the Lord that I now recognize that I love myself, being honored by my children, comfort, ease and control of my circumstances more than I love my Him. This was a humbling admission because for years I've convinced myself that I loved God wholeheartedly. But the evidence is irrefutable based on careful contemplation of the passage from Vernick's book.

A discovery like this could leave a person disheartened! However, I feel so hopeful! I know the Lord to be a prayer-answering God. I began to cry out to Him last night to my change my self-centered heart. I told Him emphatically that I want to love Him first and foremost, with heart, soul and mind fervor. I'm excited to see what the Lord will do as He answers my prayer. In the meantime, I will be seeking to know Jesus, since we're told He is the exact representation of His Father. (Hebrews 1:3). I'm thankful for last night's insomnia. The lack of sleep proved to be a vital wake up call!

Am I Running on Empty?

"When our mouths are empty of praise for others, it is probably because our hearts are full of love of self."

John Piper, as quoted in Practicing Affirmation, Sam Crabtree

I'm still thinking about what love is to look like according to a biblical standard. Here's an all-time favorite quote:

"Go forth and be loving. Let your heart be as large in its creature capacity as God's heart is in its divine. If He has a large heart for you, beware of a small heart for your fellow man. If His heart is open, see that yours is not closed. And since He does not depart at our sinfulness, ingratitude, injury, or unworthiness, be imitatiors of God (Ephesians 5:1,2). 'Be not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.' (Romans 12:21) God has so dealt with you, overcoming and winning your evil heart with goodness and love of His own. Go and do likewise towards all who have injured you, wounded you, and despitefully used you..." Octavious Winslow, Our God, pg. 16 

What is Love to My Children?

My twelve kiddos -- January 2011

As I'm pondering the nature of love--real love, not the Hollywoood version--on our approach to Valentine's Day, this quote caught my eye:

"Before we can effectively teach our children what Christ would teach, we have to teach them AS Christ would teach: gently, kindly, lovingly, patiently, persuasively, with long-suffering, not being easily provoked. We must literally be as Christ. When we teach that way, we are safe to be with. We are attractive to our children, and we attract them to us. Our words are believed, our actions emulated, and our values tend to become their values." Glenn Latham, Christlike Parenting, pg. 51.

Yikes! For me, these words stung. I realized that I tend to be a gentle, loving, long-suffering mom with some of my kids, but, sadly, not all of them--at least not enough of the time. I base my parenting all too much on my children's behavior. If a child is as obedient and mature as I would hope for his or her age, then that child gets the best out of me. But if not, then they're likely to get an exasperated, frustrated response when they do wrong. I'm all-too easily provoked.

Thanks to Dr. Latham's words, I see how my approach to parenting is terribly unlike my Savior's treatment of me. While I was yet His enemy, Christ suffered and die for me (Romans 5:8). He didn't wait for me to "get" what a sinner I was.

My kids need a Christlike mom who draws them lovingly into her Saviour's arms, not a mother who bases her patience and tenderness on their ability to measure up.

I have much to confess. I have much to pray about.

A Conscience Jab

Today, I picked up a book that I've owned for years. When I flipped it open, the pages parted to this prayer:

"O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Make [my] heart like Yours,
From the desire of being esteemed,
      DELIVER ME, O JESUS.
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the desire of being popular,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being *calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being suspected,
That others may be more loved than I,
JESUS, GRANT ME THE GRACE TO DESIRE IT
That others may be esteemed more than I,
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase
     and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided
     that I may become as holy as I should...
Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world,
     have mercy on [me], O Lord.

(Eileen Egan and Kathleen Egan, Prayertimes with Mother Teresa, (New York: Image Books, 1989), 134-5. Used with permission as quoted in How to Live Right When Your Life Goes Wrong, Vernick, 98-9)


I'm certain it was no coincidence that the book opened to this reflection. The Lord was intimately at work in my life at that moment, and I was duely pricked and poked as I read. I see in these words many forms of self-focus that fester in my heart. As a wife, I want to be consulted. As a mom, I'm regularly tempted to insist on being honored. As a homemaker, I'm certain I deserve to be praised.

But I don't want pride to determine my thoughts, my words or my actions. I belong to Jesus, and I want Him to rule and reign in my heart instead. I'm going to hang this prayer on my mirror to remind me to keep crying out to the great Heart-Changer that He'll remake me in the image of His Son, just as He's promised to do.

*Calumniated--Slandered; falsely accused; maliciously accused of what is criminal, immoral or disgraceful. (Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 2005)