Pulling Out the Sword to Battle Pain

On June 26 I will be seeing a gyn/oncologist at Mayo Clinic. Most likely she will decide that surgery is the best option to bring an end to, or at least reduce, significant chronic pain that has grown in severity and frequency over the past two years or so. The pain is the result of a mass of scar tissue that has knit my female organs to one another and glued them to other organs and to some of the bones in my lower abdomen. If Dr. Bakkum does chose to address my case surgically, the operation will take place the following day, June 27.

We praise God that Mayo has accepted my case. We also thank the Giver of All Good Gifts that I'm being seen so soon following the exploratory surgery I had here in Sioux City a little over two weeks ago. We continue to feel called by the Lord to adopt the four siblings we met at our children's orphanage in late 2010. We pray fervently that long term the treatment at Mayo will be used by the Lord to allow me to parent more actively and fully than I've been able to do for some time.

I hope to write more about this journey the Lord has me on, but right now I sense a pressing need to spend time impressing some of God's word, "the sword of the Spirit" (Ephesians 6:17), on my soul so deeply that the truths live and breath inside me no matter what fear rises in me before the surgery, how strong the post-surgery pain is or how weak I feel for some time after the procedure. One of the verses I'm rehearsing is in the "postcard" above.

Clinging to Him,
Denise

Fitting Adjectives

I don't know about you, but I benefit from being reminded of ways in which I will never be like God. That's just what a reading of Psalm 74 did for me this week. As far as I can remember, no one has ever called me resplendent. And, actually, that's okay. You see, I have a God who is resplendent. He's also majestic and glorious, additional adjectives which I don't anticipate being used to describe me. I'm so grateful for the numberless ways in which God is...well...God. I am weak and forgetful and selfish and... He, on the other hand, is perfect. And, I need His perfect strength and purity and beauty and wisdom and... I could go on and on and on. Isn't our God marvelous? Ahh...another adjective I'll leave to the Creator of the Universe.

(I just realized that I used this same photo a few posts ago--a perfect example of my many imperfections :)! Ahh...praise be for a perfect God!)

Watering and Fertilizing My Faith

As we begin the adoption process yet again, I've been rereading biographies of George Mueller, a man whose faith, devotion to prayer and love of God's Word have deeply impacted me. Mueller's long life covered nearly all of the 1800s. During that time he saw to the care of more than 10,000 orphans in Bristol, England, all without asking for a penny. He took each need to the Lord alone. And His prayer-hearing God met every need. Every single need.

Like George Mueller, we, too, have experienced the Lord's never-ceasing help. In our case, He has shown Himself faithful in all the many ways we have needed Him in order to adopt and then parent older orphans from Russia. With each of our three adoptions of trios of kiddos, He has consistently healed the hearts, minds, and bodies of these formerly broken and hurting children. Even though we have repeatedly experienced His faithfulness, I still find it helpful to be reminded through the stories of Mueller's experiences just how safe it is to count on the Lord for all we need. God is more than able to navigate us through this remarkably complex process, leading us to the blessed outcome of adding four siblings to our family.

The verse above was one of Mueller's favorites.

My Help

A Firm Foundation

Not How the World Thinks

I don't know about you, but I frequently need the reminder this verse offers.

The world will disappoint.

People will let me down.

But God never betrays. His very nearness is my good.

My Strength

The Right Footprint

Just like a deep footprint in fresh snow, the Lord wants me to mediate on His word until it leaves an indelible mark on who I am. He wants His word to be so deep within me that it impacts how I face challenges. "Impress" as its used in the verse above is one strong verb!

Have I been giving God's word its rightful due? For me, the kind of day-and-night meditation God commands (Joshua 1:8,9; Psalm 1:1-3) requires memorizing. Am I working at this with an effort, energy and enthusiasm worthy of my Lord and King? Am I going heart deep? Soul deep? No.

I'm oh-so grateful that He is a forgiving God of second chances.

There are many things I know to be truth because the Bible tells me they are true. However, knowing they're true and "getting" them can often be two very different things.

Sometimes I go ahead and put these bits of scripture on my digital creations because I long to "get" what the author knew that I have yet to learn. For me, working with the photo and manipulating the words helps me meditate, thinking deeply about the meaning. It also gives me the opportunity to pray, asking God to change my heart and mold my mind so that my life better reflects the wonders of His word.

God is good and does good,

Denise

Pure, Unsullied Goodness

My Help in Time of Need